The Vortioxetine Diaries - 9 Months (Like a baby!)

medication, bod, eupd, borderline personality disorder, vortioxetine, mirtazapine, a whole lotta drugs

“Hey Erin” I hear you cry, “You’re well crap at this blogging thing”.

Well, you’d be right. I am well crap. Why am I well crap? Because I still feel well crap. Is that the fault of the Vortioxetine? D O U B T F U L.

Basically I’ve been over here taking my medicines, trying to look after myself and rolling with the punches that life dolls out and I am still not feeling any better. I’m not feeling any ill effects from the Vortioxetine, I have no sickness anymore. I sleep, probably too much. My relationship and my life and my job bumble along as well as well can be. Maybe I’m greedy, I want more because this persistent misery is boring and draining.

So guess what?

Yeah, over here we’re having a complete medication overhaul, and the first thing to go is the damned Quetiapine. YAY.

My psychiatrist, for all his uselessness has agreed to replace the Quetiapine with Aripiprazole. For all my excitement about coming off a medication that I hate, I am nervous. It’s been five years on Quetiapine, and all the previous attempts to reduce it have been met with a return of psychotic features. Yet at the same time I am so so tired of the weight gain, I am tired of the sedation and the constant want to sleep.

Now, if you’ve read my blog before you’ll remember that when I replaced Mirtazapine with Vortioxetine I fucked up. Badly. I did not taper the dose of the Mirtazapine and had a week of horrific withdrawal symptoms. Going to reiterate this in bold.

DO NOT SUDDENLY STOP TAKING MEDICINES WITHOUT THE AGREEMENT OF YOUR DOCTOR.

It is honestly, 100% not worth it.

So, on Tuesday I’m going to the pharmacy to collect my Aripiprazole and I’ll be reducing doses and starting anew. I’ve plotted it all out on my calendar and may even share my experiences. We will see. For now though - Hi! Sometimes I’m still alive.